everything is okay again. question would be how long. but he's real and I know he is the right. we must work on our relationship but there is nothing more worth than keeping him :-) i love u..<3

he hit me yesterday. i went to the police i dunno what will happen anymore.

ok weird. he was just busy. and everytime i'm soooo scared and I don't know why.

i don't know what's happening but i'm scared. scared of everything, I hope he won't throw our relationship away like rubbish. he isn't answering any phone calls, wasn't at home today, but told me yesterday that we meet tday. i don't know. maybe i'm overreacting, i don't know, but what i know is that i can't handle this whole thing anymore. if something happened to him i wouldn't forgive me. hope for me..

what happened to us?

hey guys, it's like the darkest day ever since "the day.
i guess, i lost him just because of my words. maybe the separation is better for now.. but thinking about it hurts so much that it's like someone's thrusting me with a knife right through my stomach. i want him back :-( soo heavily..

i guess i burned out.

wtf, my life sucks at the moment. i dunno really why but school is getting exhausting, work is getting exhausting, my whole life is getting exhausting.. i don't have any time for sports, like going to the gym, biking and stuff like that, i'm afraid that i'm getting fat and ugly.. seriously my boss at work is a backstabbing bitch, doesn't pay my money, omg she's so bitchy and dumb, idk how to get over this. in fact i worked hard for her, like the whole time she was so desperate i was there for her. also i had a complicated situation like the thingy i told you in my last post, but now i'm feeling so exhausted.. it's like i don't have passion anymore for anything. my room looks like a mess and actually i'm the kind of person who tidies up her room everytime it's untidy.. and now.. idk what happened to me but i guess i have to see a doctor or a therapist or something like that. it's so unusual how i'm acting at the moment.. and i can't stop beeing so weird, there is no like escapements in me which are always saying, hey hun, get normal. it's always this weird, nooo i don't wanna do this anymore.. maybe i really should get over this with help.. from outside. beyond everything i have to get normal and i want my normal life back. i have to work for it. love u guys.

today was a day in my life which i will never forget. i swear to god i love my boyfriend
so much, i would never never betray him, seriously. last week sth happened which will affect my whole life in a way i just don't know yet. i was under pressure all time and every second, basically 24/7, but now everything is fallen off of me. of course i'm feeling 200% better than before. but i'm tough, strong and dedicated to process and handle this situation what happened to me. life is making a whore of me, now i'm making the life to a brothel. easy.

xoxo

i miss him already.

omg. i miss my bf so much. i dunno why but he's like gone again :-(

still in love.

hey guys,
i'm like so freakin out. my boyfriend is the cutest guy ever. i'm totally fallin for him, don't know the acutal reason, but i guess you guys know what i'm meaning. so, yesterday i was at his house where he growed up and omg, it's the total opposite of where i'm living. it's like countryside or that thing, but seriously it is SOO beautiful there. and he's really nice and careful with and to me. sometimes i think that he could be the right one and maybe you know the feeling of this "mr right occured". he definetly is my personal mr right. i'm sure. and i don't know why many girls are staring at him, okay, i'm not jealous but it bugs me, maybe he's hot.. AND the best thing is, that he is mine, all over.
next topic is that i'm really tired, but can't sleep. i'm lying in my bed and just do some nerdy and pointless stuff. i have holidays and i'm really glad about it.. and i have started to work, my boss is a psychotic and backstabbing bitch, who can't pay her bills for her restaurant thus i don't get my salary. whatever, basically i don't need her money, i have enough.. haha, that was joke, got it? okay, i'm going to bed now, it's late. soo guys, night night and sleep well.

 Silke

guess who's back

omg. i just found this blog after a while.. it's so funny to read my old blogstuff.. i can only smile about it. haha. tonight i'm waiting for my boyfriend, oh hell, i have a boyfriend now (!!!) and decided to start a new blog.. respectively continue this one. during the last month i started a german blog on this tumblr thingy, but i didn't have any free time for it and actually.. i'm sticking to this one. i don't know why but the thing is that this blog is my oldest one and my sweetheart. it makes me remember everything what happened in bkk.. uhh, guess what, I'm back in germany. like for real. tday i red the thing about the fake girlfriend on xiaxue blog.. and i think it's like the ridicolous thing ever.. i know peter coffin from youtube, just watched his stupid videos.. and i assure he's not that hot.. basically he's ugly and not funny and lol, i guess i have to go to bed. :-) good night, everyone.. and welcome back !